Torment

Time for a rojak post...i pretty much beh tahan d....

Sometimes., really got some lots of things messing around in my head..

Why some people,they just treat themselves like they're superior?

有些人，做朋友是需要看样子？因为我很丑就没有资格做你的朋友是不是?

已经给人伤害了很多次

可是怎样都我告诉自己要坚强

坚强....坚强..忍了好久

可是我也是人好不好，有一个限度

I know i nt gud enuf...speech,looks,work,emotion..alot all is still..

I wun put much hope really...ntg good really happens..

B4 i even go back home and my sister gives me her stupid temper

Work performance being really bad..

意味自己能做到一些东西

可是最后也是失败...失望

有些人呢，又觉得我很奇怪

因为喜欢日本明星..model那些

过后也看hero那些的东西..

我喜欢的东西有犯法，有犯过你?

And dats y.. sometimes i think

I just dun fit in to anywhere..is difficult..

to get someone,somewhere i can belong to..

instead of being discriminated for who n wat i am..

Time to get out..put a mask and ready to work...

and get out to this lonely life again...

心里.................

我没有什么要求了。。
只想要一个我会真心爱。。也会真心爱回我。。
保护我。疼我。相信我。
可是我想一下。。我有资格没有？
什么都不能，什么都不会，什么都
安排东西都一定会失败的我。。
做不好。。会有人要我？
心里里面超级烦。。可是好多次了我告诉自己不能。。
不能想太多。。。不能哭。。
可是结果是失败了
我不是那么坚强吧。。怎样我戴面具都好。。还是不能。。。
为什么自己是那么笨，给人伤害了一次还不够。。给人骗了。这个就是第二次了。

看一些朋友不开心。。我有时候也会觉得心痛。。可是我什么都不能做。
我已经
不懂我怎样改变都好一些人都会觉得我是想一个垃圾罢了。　我懂。
救命。。想要有一个人救我。。。＝（

每天都很加油改变自己了可是还是不能。。。
到底要怎样啊。。。

Life...?

最近觉得不懂是不是我自己想太多东西。。。
觉得自己为什么那么失败
还觉得这么了，有爱的时候会觉得辛苦因为吵架那些。。
没有了爱也会觉得痛苦因为感觉到很寂寞。。很孤单
真的是累了。。唉

Sem Break equals Torture?

The title seems WTH or WTF XD
But for me its true...its freakin trueeeee!!!

Feeling sem break 2 weeks is more stress den rushing assignment might be nuts!!!
But its true!!!  To be sitting at home everyday...
SIT AT HOME!!
EAT!!!
SLEEP!!!!
WAKE UP!!!!!
SIT AT HOME AGAIN!!!!!!
Repeating since last friday.....

Hell...wan go out n for a stroll or walk around at shopping complexes also no car!
Sis got school Mon-Sat pulak, and then at night she got tuition....
Why Sat now also got sch, at least give me chance to go out on Sat la....
Sun if i go out my dad pulak sure $%@$%! ask where u go, go do wat, go till wat time all those nonsense...
I need LRT in Klang! Go by public? 2-3H oni reach KL central bahhhh thx to PRO public transport in Klang...
Reach KLCC,Bkt Bintang area oso another 1/2~1H..weekends die even more...many ppl..

FML....
And I notice some times -.-...
Some friends of mine...they got plan or go out even for yumcha horrrrr
Also always is when i not on break or when i rushing towards end sem...
Den when I holi........OMG ppl balik study d, or ppl busy working...
T-T So...WATAHECK this sem break even if its 2 weeks..

Like tht pass....and then Sem 5 starts...FML!

Tomie Chapter 1+2 review *Horror manga*

The second manga I;m gonna review at XD

Tomie, a very crazed story about a girl, Tomie of course..

The artist is Junji Ito, who is quite possibly on of most popular horror artist in the manga world

She, is the Tomie of the coming soon movie dis year, Tomie:Unlimited

Which I think I would watch? Tomie had a few series of movies before this,

ending with Tomie vs Tomie in 2007~

Not sure if they'll base T:U on which chapter or will it be original yet...

Anyways on to the manga..

The story is centered on this girl, who is extremely pretty..

Her name is Tomie

And she has the weird powers to dazzle and attract males

Which after awhile, they will have the sudden will to chop her up..

Slash her and kill her..Weird ecstasy/fetish =___=

 And she somehow regenerates from each part of her body cut..

Meaning every time she is killed, more Tomie appears...

U'll think, is she a COCKROACH?? XD

Chapter 1-The beginning-

 

First, she was killed at the beginning by her friend and boyfriend

Then she came back alive

And she was doing like nothing happened..

Then she seduced her teacher into madness

Falling to her death on a picnic..

Then the teacher and boys chopped her to pieces

And gave a piece to each classmates to throw..

 Later the 2 tried to confess to the police but their classmates..

Wanted to kill them for betraying them 

Only to have Tomie reappear in front them

And the guy(Yamamoto) broke down totally in the end, while the girl ran away..

Chapter 2 -3

A different location,where one piece of Tomie's body regenerated

and ended up in another area with a new identity

Tsukiko, a photography member who sold photos in school..

Ended up getting involved with Tomie 

Which Tomie told her activities to her teacher

And trying to revenge by taking her photos and do things to them..

She ended up taking pictures of her "REAL" side like the one below..

Yes...disturbing..And she spread Tomie's photos

which got her MAD big time, asking her cronies to kill her

And at Tsukiko's own home, she ended up seeing Tomie growing a Tumor..

Like the one in the picture above..and asked her two cronies to chop it off

Which in the end her head got chopped off as well...

The tumor then gained consciousness and ordered the two of them to burn the tumor

Which they did it without any much questions

Then at night, when she is still captured.....suddenly the headless body moved..

With a new head slightly growing*Disturbing scene not shown here*

Laughing hysterically and running away...

Next day, Yamazaki(the guy Tsukiko likes and he likes Tomie) gets involved more

Where the 2 cronies come back to kill Tsukiko and decide to kill him too

Since he knows too much

Then at Tsukiko's home, somehow Tomie's blood that got under her carpet..

Grew into another Tomie and summoned Yamazaki...

Cronie A breaks in and the scene above happens..

He went "out" and walked out frm the 3rd floor to death

Yamazaki then tried to remove Tomie which killed carpet-Tomie

After that the police entered and Cronie B got away
Yamazaki was then admitted to the hospital

Which perfectly, outside his window is the dump site for garbage

And the very blood stained carpet is thrown there..

Which..more Tomie grew...and you know the ending...madness xD

Tsukiko moved and Chapter 3 is the continuation of her

"encounter" with Tomie...Which it is obvious since the headless body is not seen yet xD
To Be Continued....
Chapter 3./12~~~ 10 more gila chapters @@
And did i overdid the story detailing? xD

"Fourteen" Review

Okay yesterday, I went and continue read one series I read around 1/4-way last time...

One series called "Fourteen"...As seen below here

This story is very special,which i read finish all 13 volumes already...

One of the main characters,is the guy above...Yes

And he is originally a chicken's breast in a cultivation factory..

Growing an eye and the man in charge raised him secretly

Then he gain intelligence and started hating humanity for

all the things they do to earth, plants and animals..

His name is Chicken George

Then the focus goes to the world leaders
Mainly the US Pres and Japan PM

  Where politic issues and conspirations with a economy leader
Grand Master Rose, who is obsessed with immortality..
At extreme heights!!!

And they found out human's ancestors are dinosaurs

Plants take revenge on humanity..

Making newborn babies go green...

Publish Post

 Earth's greenery all die suddenly in one night

Atmosphere goes lower and Tibet is annihilated

With it being airless and radioactive melts people's body

 

Then came an alien race on the verge of extinction

They go and suck away the innards of humans evrywhr

Stripping them naked and in a sexual-like position for duno why =.=

Then sending 3yr old babies to space and they grew up to 14yo 

With a T-Rex shaped Rocket..LOL?

Travelling with some mishaps and trouble in space

Like a girl, who has an adult's brain transplanted..

Which the girl is actually his clone

And he suddenly grows a penis suddenly LOL!

Then Chicken George's ghost appear,with his dead body on the tail..

Calmed when his body is brought into the ship

Then in the end of the 14 years

 The kids start dying and become dinosaurs again

So they freeze themselves hoping the last kid will find a solution

And he did, he found out the truth that..

the universe dying cus its actually a "bug"

Dying in the outside in the world of people with chicken heads?

Then the bug is saved and earth+universe is saved???

While Chicken George can be seen in the ending,

Waving goodbye to the kids from his homeworld..

The End

I think this manga is quite twisted with those many weird tales and cases but the thing with the art style is they love to make the "shocked face" and Zoom in for the chapter cover XD

Also the very bizarre plot and many mad people in there..

But it pretty much is related to our mother earth in the end..

Talking bout the environment,nature, and then life itself.

How some people can be jealous like hell,casting animals like shit and all

Overall:6/10 for a manga series ~~

Red and Green?....

Stuck at home alone till tomoro,

so stay home finishing my work, the game promo thing...

I think can finish this one, only video T^T

That 1 no idea...Swt

So while relaxing i noticed,

What is it with RED n GREEN in my life? xD

I know i love apples but.....
This is ridiculous? XD

The color seem to spread to involve my idols as well~~

First up is Sakurai-kun(Arashi...) up here...

Being my favourite member xD

 

Then its Minehiro..kamen rider accel in W,

notice how red his outfit is? xD...I like tht leather jacket!!OMG

 

Nxt up is Masahiro Usui..he acted as Hanto/Go-On Green in Go-Onger

Liked his character xD,I missed reading his blog, thx to his company..D-boys..arhh

 

This two in yukata's are Matsuzaka Tori n Shogo Suzuki

Portrayed Shinken Red n Green.waiting the movie nxt yr xD

 

This one..those know me personally sure know dis xD

Channaka, aka Sakurai Yuuto/Zeronos

He kill me even more, Zeronos 2 form = green n red!!!

 

Then 2010's hero leader, Yudai Chiba..

Portraying Gosei Red in Goseiger..too cute for a hero?

And these two frm K.R OOO...

Coincidence tht Ankh(blond guy)'s theme is red..

Then Eiji(the Kamen rider) has Red and Green???!!!

If Ankh possess punya person become Birth(Green)..I will faint =.=...

This is just idols weh but red n green,

like Christmas tree or somethg..lol

Neways back to assignments...tataz = =

 Wish somebody cn stop appear n gone the nxt sec..

Just hope can see n talk to u b4 back to PJ oni...

--Comic Fiesta--

Been to CF at Sat, alone~
That time when I was gettin rdy to go, i got a call saying theres a super long que etc,
so I decided not to go so early n went in my father's car..as he OTW to Kajang

Den reach d there, 1st i walk2 at sg wang n had my solo-lunch there...
Yea,somehw sometimes I do njoy eatin alone cus can be at my pace,fast or slow XD
Buttttt, I dun rly like jalan shoppin etc alone, sorta "sad" in a way ==...


Din take any pics, yea cus Im a camera-less guy = =..
But gt few interesting cosplays!!! Byakuran,1 Gantz team(dis 1 is OMG!!),1 Ichigo, n some malay cosplayers which 1 is fair skinned(the oni 1 i approve among them) and some Gintama cosplayers~
The worst thing is the eff-ing crowd, too small walkways is 1 thing, but its like ppl go frm both sides and got ppl stand n look at stuff? Its like 2 ppl punya walkway n u put 4-5 ppl walking in a row there,totally...
The number of times ppl push me till my bag slipped off frm my shoulders oso IDK hw many times d there..

N i saw few ppl i know from FB there,but not for CF but working/helping out at booth n such >< Oh n oso makcik Su Jing over there = =!!! Bought some stuff mainly KHR stuff=> Poster,keychain,necklace n keycover...and then 1 Demyx's Sitar keychain~~~ Then a bear-bear hat!!

After tht go to those hobby stores at TS n found they sell MG CycloneJoker n got Gold Frame, so i beli both ==!! There goes my $$~ Maybe I wanna get tht Kshatriya oso....Then go back, father fetch...I go n buy GT Latte again~<3 But...his driving too horrible, n i alone at behind....

Go back home n fainted , i said i pening etc cus of his driving he said I LYING, wth!! He driving like mad cow, suddenly stop, suddenly horn ppl, go over bumpers oso din slow down....i got tossed like salad at behind lehhhh.....T T Haiz.....

"Walk and walk n walk again" Week

"Yeay" for the so called Mid-sem break where I have to scratch head to do that Music Video assignment T-T...
Who can help me in this 1, haizzzz....

Last week,only stay in PJ 1 day,or can say less den 1 day = =
Class cancelled, this n tht, so I went walking at various places b4 or after going to college twice last week XD
Weds walk at Sunway, Fri at Mid Valley~~~ Walk until leg sibeh tired~~
walk n walk den saw some nice clothes n boots...I wanna buy but how???...
Money money money~~~
Tried Grill Spaghetti at MV, the food there is popular for women around there I guess, since its using vegetable oil...@@...Lucky lunch got set, normal price 1 plate of spaghetti around RM20-40!! Sweat ==!!


Then on Saturday we went to Sunway to celebrate Shaam n Bobo's Birthday...
nicknamed as "Shaambobo" or "Boboshaam" for short XD
Celebrated at Red Box, quite funny...
especially Auf when singin, n Bobo afraid of MJ's Thriller MV =.=...................sweat~
Laugh quite alot on tht day too LoL,

Harry Potter and me feeling dead at cinemas

Yesterday watched d Harry Potter move part 1~~
Can say it was not bad, and some scenes really shocked the audience xD
Esp Nagini,the snake parts~lol

I liked the most is the scene where Hermione was like "WTF"!!! seeing Ron returned..
And she was totally Q$^@$^@$^@!!!! XD...and stunned they destroyed the Horcrux
Emma Watson's acting was awesome IMO ~

It was sad that suddenly there is a late comer at the movie and tht "guy" sat next to me...
Okay, then he enter I see he wearing women clothes
, and Im already stunned at my seats...
Ignore and continue watching....watching...
then suddenly i see lights nxt to me...
Tht person keep sms sms =.=...den take out a sandwich
OMG, it smelt like heaven, literally...
After that in the scene where Harry took off his clothes to get into the lake..
The girl fans were quite pleased, including the 1 nxt to me...i heard him say "oh my god" =.=..
After that i heard some loud breathings, i guess its from him!!!
Cus behind me are all children...
Geez, so many interference in this movie ==.....

Restart

Oh wells...decide to re-blog xD
Revive it with a new look~
Gotta say, dis 2 days...go window shopping both on9 n off9
Is killing my sense of logic T-T
Too many thing to buy..
No money..LOL!

Update...for fun~~ =.=

Haha....Just wanna say......
Its stressing n all but im anticipating the upcoming holidays!!!!
I do wish that i can go to both trips organized by my friends...
But , somehow.....I think the dates do clash....
Either way...gonna enjoy these days for sure fire!!!!

Gonna have outings...even clubbings...n den time for own activities like research and fanart+original works to do...to have fun, and of course Games and luxury...!!!

Holiday tht time gonna bring my mum n sis go aroun..n try stuffs as well xD...My mum's sweet tooth gonna melt LOL, edi wanna go n bring her to HD for some nice fondue+ice cream....heck lately bring her go Baskin Robbins n Starbucks quite frequently already !!! xD
Sammore her birthday..thinking wan bring her to Wong Kok or somethg..n drinkkkk the milk tea..xD.......she will pengsan LOL~~~

....God...I beg u

...Short update...long time no touch own blog..haha....
Just want to say........Left 3 weeks like tht....
Assignment still not done......
Life is busy as usual......
I not having enuf sleeppp...
I am tired...
I am stressed...
I am tired mentally n physically...
I need sleep...
I need travel....
I need fun and entertainment...no time watch J-Dramas johhh...
i need money...

....Why no time n evrythg comes at same time...Shitty Semester !!!!!
Like I lived too long edi.....so i can just burn my life's candle away cus of u?...T-T
I need help...I need a savior, an angel , a saint, anythg!!! To pull me from this torture !!!

Safety Poster? How about a safety poster for my own safety?

Okay...yesterday after I came back from Amcorp Mall, just went blank
as I pengsan on bed till 5am++ ==!!!

I want to say!!! That my life is so screwed
All because of 1 subject right now!
My safety poster, for IDKWTH reason keep kena reject the design n concept
I have been redoing the thing like for 4-5 weeks edi
My concept is a poster, Do not provoke animals..
First it was meant to be a lion/bear themed..
So i sketched out and he said, my bear looks like a monster..OK nvm!

Then i did the Illustrator file..of the lion which i traced from my sketch!
He said MY SKETCH punya lion look more fierce!
WTF u wanna say? Trace out from the scan one
U dare say its different??!!!It looks more tame issit in AI?

Ugh, like lightning doesnt strike twice in the same place?
Then i trace a lioness to but it was hard cus..
I don wanna make it so complex!
But he said, its too simplified, and dun mind the text etc 1st..
SHYT!!!!! And it was like during the time i was sick like HELL
jst before the mid-sem break!

So at mid-sem break I tried the other concept he gave me..
Put more animals inside, so i put in around 10 common animals in Zoo
He said!! IT DOESNT HAPPEN LIKE THIS IN REAL LIFE!
"NOT LOGIC"
WTF?!!!!! As if got ppl will provoke a bear/lion in real life?!

Then i made another 1..a bear...Traced and drawin in Tribal Tattoo style..
He said it looks like a shopping poster this time, not a Safety poster
Okay, when only u will be satisfied with my work?
Im doing the best i can with ur work, u know?
I dun know, is my concept that hard for u to accept?
I spent so many time to redo just this subject's 1st assignment
And ur delaying and dragging it like this?

I think n think till my head pain!
I am just human!
I am already trying my best to cope with the work!
U dun know how much stressed we are with the assignments!
As well as how rest-deprived I am, don't you?
I feel like crying at the agony of your subject!

Thank you Visual Communication.
U have succeeded well in making me close to crying.

Choices...A strage thing

Ever wonder what would happen if u chose a different path at some point in life?
Yes..choices, life is full of them. You life with them...
I "live" wi h them choices..affecting my life a lot..

Never rly was "open" that much towards people in the past...
Friends also, not all are really that close with, yet there few
that made me feel comfy,yes im the easy-nervous/panic type..

Now also, after coming out to college now..the choice made
Actually made me much more open now.
Talk to people more...and knowing more people
Its like a whole metamorphosis thinggy...
Now at least i interact more...talk more
Enjoy more, live life as it is.

But if I had taken a different choice in life?
I wondered..if didnt chase my own interest
Choosing to study instead of design..
Then it would stay as it were in high school?...
Spending time together like almost everyday...b4 n aft sch..
Now? The total time is less than 1 month a year...
Even holidays do not seem to match...but at least it made me come,
to cherish moments of being together..cherishing the warmth~ ^^

Thoughts while doing work...

Okay..once i have the time i should really customize this blog...since it is mine..and I should be more responsible for it...Even if I have 0 knowledge on HTML/CSS....

So its like almost 6 in the morning, and what am I still doing here blogging anyways?
Do not comprehend...Why?
1st week back from mid-sem brek and Im already killing myself...
The stress..the need to rest..Poster for V.Comm i did already..but lecturer said..
"Where is the original idea we developed?" and i was stunned...
Now i wonder why did i change the concept and did few other animals..
He said not logic?..I dunno...just like tht time I had nothing else to say..
So now..went bak and did the poster AGAIN with a different concept this time..
The visual i think i did insert Gestalt Principles but with Tribal Tattoo styling..
Please accept...I dont wanna waste my time....
I already have no time.....Malaysian studies test also i did not take it...
Cus the whole week i was SICK badly..
and now also i still havent even read a sentence of it...
Maybe..I'll just skip the test?..Sigh.....

Then....there's my patience these days..
Sometimes get crazy due t the load of stress on me
Try to cope with sleeping 3-5H a day is hard already..
Sometimes i get so mad i bang the table or somethg to relieve self..
Don't wanna be like last time when i got boiling mad at home..
And accidently banged the glass door!!!
Whole glass broke and my hand wound up bleeding with the scar now ==...

“I am just human. This mind is weak as it is to the body. Yes, as this is me for who I am."

I need a VACATION...need help....need rescue from drowning!!

Alrite..What should i say? Its practically almost 6 in the morning...

Someone up there must hate me...Cus doing work like almost done!

Then suddenly my monitor goes black! Okay...i was like..blurring

Tot i got save my work or not?..!! Cus..the trials of now..im burning oil

EVERYDAY!
Just to finish my assignments!

Only to find it!!!!!!
NO~PHOTOSHOP JAMN!!!
Work gone..
From like 3am..
I blur ...getting flu n cough AGAIN!

U SEE?!!! I AT HOME CAN GET ENOUGH SLEEP EVRYDAY ALSO!
GETTING SICK!
MY LIFE IS SHORTENED BY A LOT!!!


Think about it...getting sick after fully healed in a duration of just 1 week?
Is it a blessing or a curse?
Assignments tht keep pouring in and i can never finish...
Keep on thinking alot....
My work pace is slow...
Dont know...how stress am I..
How i wish if u were right here...
Really down...im exhausted..tired..beat..
Mentally...Physically...
My eyes really look like a panda...
I do not know how to survive the next 11 weeks...
I really really wanna cry already...
But cant ==...Cus im a guy, okay..
Try to rough it through...
Dont know anymore..
Blurring..Confused..Tired..and more..
So many in one....
Wish ur holidays will come soon...
...Feel rly down n cold...

Frustration.........

Alright...this will be about what happened to me during the week...

Since last Thurs I have been quite sick....slept on bed straight until i missed class on Thursday...and had fever on Saturday morning....

It was not the end of the symptoms as I was sick the entire week until now due to over-stress,fatigue and work. It makes me wonder how does our seniors managed and how my friends right now can manage without getting sick ><...

True that it may also because i have not enough sleep and rest since im always staying up until 4-6am doing work, or end up not sleeping at all...Last thursday I did that and wound up drinking 3-4 cans of coffee and 1 Red bull but it had no effect cuz i was too tired...

Yesterday and today too..Had to take MC already ...imagine yesterday morning when it was 3-5 am and suddenly the electricity broke up...and I forgot to save my work... Was dam ridiculed at that moment. My brain snapped and i was like ..."Dont look, I'll kill u" mode...

Got fed up and went to bed anyways...fainted in bed at that time...today as well...missing 2 presentations and a test..which i'll make up after the mid-sem break if the lecturers let me T-T!! Is so shitty i have to get SICK at the week the datelines are due ...

SHYT 1~~~!!! Byt nvm holiday time can hang out with friends...and oso recover!! Assignment also do at the same time~~ Yeah!!!

Doomsday....

The only thing i can say rite now is...Sem 3 is doomsday for me..
Why? Cus i never felt this stress n tired at all..n somehow im sick of facing my PC evryday doing work...It is sickening and my eyes is like =___= edi.....

Oh and my eyes also has eyebags like panda soon....due to not enuf sleep..Heck i feel like im almost an insomniac person......Idk y now feeling like the past 2 sems were a breeze...

Cus i ner felt like this b4~~~ Even SPM~~~

Rant Post!!!!!!!!FML!!

Okays....Good...I wanna say...my life is really "Fuk My Life"...!!!
Assignments haven finish n.....got ppl expect to hand in the Photoshop assignment next week arhhh??? Wo de tian ahhh.....wo yao shi liao lah!!!

Why add more burden to the already nearby deadlines anyway? Is it like I not enough sleep is not enough already and have to be like no nid to sleep this whole week to finish the bloody work?
One robot work edi take me 3D and i still cant finish,I know my work-pacce is extremely slow but nonid to pressure me even more lah!!!!

Goddammit....Issit my job is this oni ke? Takde benda lain utk dibuat ker...ishk...kebengangan,kebengongan,kecelakaan,kebodohan...!!!!! Why lah am i cursed with this, I rather be like sleeping beauty n sleep a long time evryday den being like this...Shyt!!!!!

I hate u...i despise u...stop pressuring me....I try to do the work with all my best edi...i just nid time...y cant give me time....I really wish i can PK ppl...I need to destress more edi....I can see my week of non-sleeping edi..haihhhssssss....why lah always like this...i haven finish work, work edi chasing me to pass up!!!!

FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML!!!