Choices...A strage thing

Ever wonder what would happen if u chose a different path at some point in life?
Yes..choices, life is full of them. You life with them...
I "live" wi h them choices..affecting my life a lot..

Never rly was "open" that much towards people in the past...
Friends also, not all are really that close with, yet there few
that made me feel comfy,yes im the easy-nervous/panic type..

Now also, after coming out to college now..the choice made
Actually made me much more open now.
Talk to people more...and knowing more people
Its like a whole metamorphosis thinggy...
Now at least i interact more...talk more
Enjoy more, live life as it is.

But if I had taken a different choice in life?
I wondered..if didnt chase my own interest
Choosing to study instead of design..
Then it would stay as it were in high school?...
Spending time together like almost everyday...b4 n aft sch..
Now? The total time is less than 1 month a year...
Even holidays do not seem to match...but at least it made me come,
to cherish moments of being together..cherishing the warmth~ ^^

Thoughts while doing work...

Okay..once i have the time i should really customize this blog...since it is mine..and I should be more responsible for it...Even if I have 0 knowledge on HTML/CSS....

So its like almost 6 in the morning, and what am I still doing here blogging anyways?
Do not comprehend...Why?
1st week back from mid-sem brek and Im already killing myself...
The stress..the need to rest..Poster for V.Comm i did already..but lecturer said..
"Where is the original idea we developed?" and i was stunned...
Now i wonder why did i change the concept and did few other animals..
He said not logic?..I dunno...just like tht time I had nothing else to say..
So now..went bak and did the poster AGAIN with a different concept this time..
The visual i think i did insert Gestalt Principles but with Tribal Tattoo styling..
Please accept...I dont wanna waste my time....
I already have no time.....Malaysian studies test also i did not take it...
Cus the whole week i was SICK badly..
and now also i still havent even read a sentence of it...
Maybe..I'll just skip the test?..Sigh.....

Then....there's my patience these days..
Sometimes get crazy due t the load of stress on me
Try to cope with sleeping 3-5H a day is hard already..
Sometimes i get so mad i bang the table or somethg to relieve self..
Don't wanna be like last time when i got boiling mad at home..
And accidently banged the glass door!!!
Whole glass broke and my hand wound up bleeding with the scar now ==...

“I am just human. This mind is weak as it is to the body. Yes, as this is me for who I am."

I need a VACATION...need help....need rescue from drowning!!

Alrite..What should i say? Its practically almost 6 in the morning...

Someone up there must hate me...Cus doing work like almost done!

Then suddenly my monitor goes black! Okay...i was like..blurring

Tot i got save my work or not?..!! Cus..the trials of now..im burning oil

EVERYDAY!
Just to finish my assignments!

Only to find it!!!!!!
NO~PHOTOSHOP JAMN!!!
Work gone..
From like 3am..
I blur ...getting flu n cough AGAIN!

U SEE?!!! I AT HOME CAN GET ENOUGH SLEEP EVRYDAY ALSO!
GETTING SICK!
MY LIFE IS SHORTENED BY A LOT!!!


Think about it...getting sick after fully healed in a duration of just 1 week?
Is it a blessing or a curse?
Assignments tht keep pouring in and i can never finish...
Keep on thinking alot....
My work pace is slow...
Dont know...how stress am I..
How i wish if u were right here...
Really down...im exhausted..tired..beat..
Mentally...Physically...
My eyes really look like a panda...
I do not know how to survive the next 11 weeks...
I really really wanna cry already...
But cant ==...Cus im a guy, okay..
Try to rough it through...
Dont know anymore..
Blurring..Confused..Tired..and more..
So many in one....
Wish ur holidays will come soon...
...Feel rly down n cold...

Frustration.........

Alright...this will be about what happened to me during the week...

Since last Thurs I have been quite sick....slept on bed straight until i missed class on Thursday...and had fever on Saturday morning....

It was not the end of the symptoms as I was sick the entire week until now due to over-stress,fatigue and work. It makes me wonder how does our seniors managed and how my friends right now can manage without getting sick ><...

True that it may also because i have not enough sleep and rest since im always staying up until 4-6am doing work, or end up not sleeping at all...Last thursday I did that and wound up drinking 3-4 cans of coffee and 1 Red bull but it had no effect cuz i was too tired...

Yesterday and today too..Had to take MC already ...imagine yesterday morning when it was 3-5 am and suddenly the electricity broke up...and I forgot to save my work... Was dam ridiculed at that moment. My brain snapped and i was like ..."Dont look, I'll kill u" mode...

Got fed up and went to bed anyways...fainted in bed at that time...today as well...missing 2 presentations and a test..which i'll make up after the mid-sem break if the lecturers let me T-T!! Is so shitty i have to get SICK at the week the datelines are due ...

SHYT 1~~~!!! Byt nvm holiday time can hang out with friends...and oso recover!! Assignment also do at the same time~~ Yeah!!!

Doomsday....

The only thing i can say rite now is...Sem 3 is doomsday for me..
Why? Cus i never felt this stress n tired at all..n somehow im sick of facing my PC evryday doing work...It is sickening and my eyes is like =___= edi.....

Oh and my eyes also has eyebags like panda soon....due to not enuf sleep..Heck i feel like im almost an insomniac person......Idk y now feeling like the past 2 sems were a breeze...

Cus i ner felt like this b4~~~ Even SPM~~~

Rant Post!!!!!!!!FML!!

Okays....Good...I wanna say...my life is really "Fuk My Life"...!!!
Assignments haven finish n.....got ppl expect to hand in the Photoshop assignment next week arhhh??? Wo de tian ahhh.....wo yao shi liao lah!!!

Why add more burden to the already nearby deadlines anyway? Is it like I not enough sleep is not enough already and have to be like no nid to sleep this whole week to finish the bloody work?
One robot work edi take me 3D and i still cant finish,I know my work-pacce is extremely slow but nonid to pressure me even more lah!!!!

Goddammit....Issit my job is this oni ke? Takde benda lain utk dibuat ker...ishk...kebengangan,kebengongan,kecelakaan,kebodohan...!!!!! Why lah am i cursed with this, I rather be like sleeping beauty n sleep a long time evryday den being like this...Shyt!!!!!

I hate u...i despise u...stop pressuring me....I try to do the work with all my best edi...i just nid time...y cant give me time....I really wish i can PK ppl...I need to destress more edi....I can see my week of non-sleeping edi..haihhhssssss....why lah always like this...i haven finish work, work edi chasing me to pass up!!!!

FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML!!!